All nighter? Pulled.

Slept yet? No.

I’m happy with it. I don’t know a title yet. I’ll figure something out. I may or may not add more to it. I originally wanted it lavishly-detailed but now I kind of like the abstract simplicity that emerged as I aimed for photorealism (edited for time constraints).

The painting is for my studio class, and the vague theme of this assignment was identity. I eventually settled on this because I’ve never not lived in the suburbs and it’s become more and more apparent how much it is every part of me. I’m born to parents from two very different cultures, so instead of being raised in either one, I grew up with the mass consensus of Ontario monoculture. Television, racist classmates and neighbours and no exposure to anything worthwhile. I’ve spent a lot of time hating the suburbs and all the trappings thereof, but this project became a huge exercise in accepting and embracing this big part of me.

Each step, from hand-drawing the street grid in pencil, to plotting out the lots, to shading in the green and painting the houses, was laborious and meditative. The best approach was to space out and somehow shit got gone (according to my very specific process). The whole thing was an experience. Every strange intersection reminded me of somewhere I’d been growing up. The other angle I approached this from was wanting to portray the contrast of tight proximity with the utter lack of community. Everyone is in opposition and competition with everyone around them. Better lawns, better gardens, better entertainment systems cocooned inside. Everyone is divided, for the benefit of augmenting their castle. Mass redundancy. Also you must own and operate a car to be able to do anything.

I could write tons more but I’m mentally and physically exhausted. I’m happy with this piece.

Photo:

rotation is unnecessary.

One of the things I’m working on at school is this 3×3 foot painting of suburbia. It’s due friday and I’m maybe 50% done, despite having put A LOT of hours in already. Sunday I was there from 3pm to 3am. I’ve begun tracking my hours on each project, and become obsessed with metrics on the whole, documenting how many coffees I’ve had per project, how much beard grown in a given time, etc.

It’s really windy outside.

Here are some shots of my suburbia painting:

I built a drawing machine for class. I didn’t like the project: I wanted to just draw. But I used the Meccanno construction set I had as a kid, and used its electric motor to spin two asymmetrically-weighted arms that wobble the whole assembly, causing to spin as it holds a pen, creating beautiful dashed swirls on paper:

The project was an accidental success. I love the results. I spent an afternoon watching the little guy work. He’s a lush for batteries, though.

In other news, 24 Hour Comics Day came and went. I went to an event with the UW Comics Club at the Artery Gallery in Kitchener. The challenge is to create 24 pages in 24 consecutive hours with no prior preparation. It was started by intellectual dreamboat Scott McCloud in the 80′s and has caught on and become a thing over time. I did it last year, finished my 24-pager in 22 hours (including a 4 hour sleep). The key was to settle on a story early, so that the rest of the time can be spent actually drawing the thing.

This year I lacked motivation and just gave up. I was tired and unmotivated. I did get 9 quality pages done, though. They’ll be used for something, I guess. In the mean time I’ve scanned last year’s crapfest and posted it on WHAT! Yay!

Diaspora still in the works, yeah yeah yeah. I should work on that. I’m all excuses.

Motivation is an issue. My wants and needs compete and overlap and nothing is really clear unless I focus and think and constantly reevaluate. That’s what everyone should be doing all the time but it’s exhausting. When I make the effort to do things, it’s rewarding. But effort takes effort, and I’m a tired old man. I can deal with existential angst, I can console myself and get past any setback. I can be okay no matter what. It’s being productive while doing so that’s vexing me. I guess I should go draw instead of blog.

I’m getting more of Diaspora made. I know there are other things out there with the name Diaspora. It’s just a word, though, right? Hopefully there will be no conflict. I thought of the name long before they did, just they are productive motivated people and conceived and realized a project swiftly. Mine was languishing in my head for years. In any case, I’m not spending a dime on legal bullshit. If comes down to it, the name can change, but in the mean time I’m not worrying about it until they contact me.

It’s not like I’m calling my comic Facebook or Friendster.

I’m slowly piling material for another zine. I’ve also been working on some prints. Oh and paintings. And sculpture ideas and a billion other things that I haven’t actually done in real life yet. Bleh. The only things I have to talk about are things from my personal life but that’s not public blog material. Let’s just say I’ve been listening to lots of The Cure and The Magnetic Fields. Also Chemical Brothers when I’ve had enough of wallowing and need some relentless optimism.

Send me money.

Then the other day I found a free wordpress theme generator online! I was able to sub in a couple of my own graphics and make the site that way! Now there’s a site for the online version of WHAT Magazine.

Next up will be the site for Diaspora. I’m working on the graphics and initial content. I’m so excited I’m gonna puke!

* * *

All that aside, life is great. I went to Halifax for a week recently, visited friends, explored and gained weight. It put a big dent in my productivity from which I’m only slowly recovering, but no matter. I’ve got some extra little paychecks coming and some camping and then a long humid sweaty summer ahead. I’ve come a long way since last summer and have made solid measurable progress. I’m pleased with myself, which is a totally new and alien feeling. Elation.

I found this collage I made in 2009. It’s prophetic and topical now more than ever. On Earth, nobody can hear you scream.

What Time Did We Drop? collage, 2009.

I’ve also been making a lot of headway on DIASPORA, my Martian epic. Drawin’ domes n’ shit with these gorgeous, gorgeous old tools.

I fired my web designer so my site’s pushed back indefinitely (surprise surprise) but whatever. The content is piling up so once things go live, I’ll be sitting pretty. I’m picking up gigs and getting paid here and there and life is fantastic. Things are starting to happen.

Here:

detail: